Wondering a lot!!

Well, Today half of the registration work got over. The other half is for tomorrow. I have been trying to take the suggestions of my uncle so as to build the trust that has been made low because of the fights that happened after partition. I have made sure that the document has visibility to both my sisters and my mother. People at home should be well aware of what is happening. Since, at my home its predominantly women, I give the maximum onus to them.

My work is pretty tight. I am actually in a post of bother. I have completed the work but some kind of feeling unsure in myself. Not sure why. I hope I test it well and give a very proper code. I have to incorporate my leads suggestion too. Let me do it the first thing tomorrow.

Actually, what has happened for the past few days is that people’s consistent chatter about the girl has caught on me and the mind went out of the way for the past 2 days. Its kind of generating possessiveness tendency which is very dangerous. I have known the girl for a very few days and already this mind is trying to spin tales. Come on Ranjith, how many more would you end up doing like this? See, she is an absolutely sweet friend. No doubt. Oh mind, listen! She is a good friend. She has her own life and desires and commitments. Don’t unnecessarily relate to her in a different way. Don’t get those desires of living with her into you. OK! Good….No matter what others say, no matter what passion you feel for her.

Until, I get a signal that she is really interested (which is again a desire you are putting forth mind). Come on! Why do you want to fall in the same well again. You have been getting plenty of allainces over the past 3 days. See, which girl you like. And get married.

The only thing that I desire God is to maintain this beautiful relation with this girl. Its tough to define. And it arouses a lot of emotion and passion in me. She has been the driving force of this relationship. Please help me stay calm and think clearly.

These were the things that I was wondering about. If I don’t put it here, the clarity is lost in the maze of thoughts that creep up in the mind. Sometimes, I feel if I feel strongly for a girl – should i tell her? If I want to tell her, what should I tell? If I am afraid that I will lose the relation, should I not?  All these things are somethings I wonder about whenever I see a girl and get attracted to them. These things are happening quite often these days.

Stress n sher

I am getting stressed these days too much. We have a piece of work that might require SeeBeyond work and it is really out of my scope. I mean I do not know the nitty gritty of the technology and it was bogging me down. I kept wondering if I would be able to it and it put so much pressure on me. Finally, I talked to Preethamand he sorted out the problem that if it is not in my area we shall get someone else to work on it. Dont unnecessarily bother about it now. That was a reall goo piece of advice as it made me bring back my focus on to work.

And I have been interacting with my colleague in my previous team for 2 weeks now through sms and we share an amazing thought similarity. I really wonder if I should have talked to her earlier in the project. She is such a simple soul and trusts people – just like the other girl but this person is more open minded and frank in her thoughts. She understands her limitations and her constraints and still a little girl in her thoughts. Its wonderful talking to her.

Here is another one of her Sher -

“Duniya ki is bheed me hamesha khud ko tanha paya,

tumhari yaad main jab rona chaha to aanko me ek bhi aasu na paya”

Loosely translated -

“In this crowded world, I have always found myself alone,

When I wanted to cry in your remembrance, didn’t get even a single tear in my eye”