“Phulo se pucha maine ke kahan gayi tumhari muskurahat,
Hawa se pucha maine ki kahan gayi tumhari mehek,
chand se pucha maine ki kahan gayi tumhari chandni,
sab ne kaha woh kisi k aane ki tayyari me masroof hai,
kisi k aane k liye hum sab itne khush hai ki khud ko hi bhul gaye hai!!!”
“Unke yaadon me dhub raha hun,
ye bhi na pata ki kahan ho raha hun ghum,
bas un meethe pal ki yaadon me din guzar rahe hai,
bhul gaya ki dil ki bhi hoti hai koi dhun”
These days just her thoughts are making me more and more despondent. I dont understand what my heart is telling me. My mind says that this is not good, but my heart doesn’t want to listen. At these times whose voice should I listen. I just dont know how to explain this feeling. I havent felt like this before.
Today the sweetest person I have known went to her hometown because her maternal grandpa had expired. The more saddening thing for me in this whole set of events was that she was supporting me through the pain she felt because of my silly emotions. I am such a sucker. I was caught in my own emotions when she needed me most. Oh God! Why did this happen?? And I had fun and slept and she was still awake. May be I could have shared a few consoling words with her. But, it was never to happen.
Actually, I am not moved by death. I didnt cry for my fathers death too. I dont know why. But I cant explain. May be I am such a stone hearted person. Dont know.
Never ever will I let such things happen again. Certain events happen so fast that we donot have control over it. I do not know how much pain she was under, for one of her sher that she wrote for me because I requested her told her emotions. I really felt bad.
The sher is -
“Zindagi ke rang bhi kitne ajeeb hai,
kabhi khushiyo se chamakta hua lal hota hai,
to kabhi ghum me jhulsa hua safed hai,
ghum ke is aalam me mann to bahut bechain hai,
par khud to sambhal kar hume jazbaato ke sehlab me unke liye ek kinara banna hai”
I didnt understand its contents in the first 2-3 readings. Only after sometime did I realise that the pain she had felt. Oh Ranjith! Ye tumne kya kar dala yaar….
And the entire day I wanted to say so many things to her but I knew she wasnt available. I had to keep my thoughts to myself. The first time I feel separation from someone reminds me of so much she means to me and my life.
This girl is really talented. I am posting one more of her creations -
“Subah ki haseen fizay me bikhri phulon ki
pyaari si palko ko chuna chahti hai,
pedo pe chamakti oos j\ke bhunde kisi ki ek
jalak pana chahti hai,
woh koi aur nahi aap hi ho,
isliye aap bahar ja ke, muskurane ki wajah ban jao”
She sent the above for my morning wish..It was so sweet of her. Another one of hers. I am not sure if I posted this earlier, but still -
“Riston ki is dor ko
humne kitna pyar se sanjona chaha,
par ae dost tujhe humara pyar bhi gawara nahua.
Aur tune is dor ko banne se pehle hi tod diya.”
