I am really sad these days. There are a number of good things happening, but still I am sad. The reason is that I am starting to realise what I like from my heart is not going to be mine. Normally I dont ask things from God. I only ask for guidance, but in this case I had prayed to God. If I really deserve, then so be it.
But you know the pain of losing something you desire. The pain that the person whom you love so much from the heart will move away from you. The pain that the person whom you consider your own inner self doesnt feel that way. The pain that one day you have to compromise in your life just because you did not get a better timing in life. The pain that life wont be the same without her. All these things outweigh every other good thing that has been happening of lately. Anyone else in my position would have been carried away in happiness by what happened. But here I am feeling I am sinking into the sea.
May be I should not think of such things. May be I should not let desire take root in my heart. I only wish her happiness, wherever she is. I now realise the pain that you feel when you know that the person you love will no more be with you. It hurts. It hurts at the very core of your being. But what I have learned is if you love, you should be ready to lose. If you love, you should be ready to get hurt. If you love, you should be ready to sacrifice anything, including your love for your love. I dont know what else to say now. My heart is heavy!!!
