I wonder how, I wonder why

Confused

ranjtheseeker — Mon, 11 Apr 2011 12:27:27 +0000

I am totally confused at this point in life – Life seems to be going no where..I am itching to move out of this job, but the responsibility of providing for the family keeps pulling me back. I just hope God shows me the right way and help me take the right decision.

Amazing amazing

ranjtheseeker — Thu, 14 Oct 2010 11:01:22 +0000

I got this HTC legend as a gift from the very beautiful person I know and the phone really rocks. I feel I will get addicted to it. Work OS already taking a back seat.;-)

Posting my thoughts

ranjtheseeker — Mon, 22 Mar 2010 13:12:56 +0000

Its been almost a year that I wrote anything on this blog. The reason was travel and living near to my love. When you are with your love, everything else in the world doesnt matter. All that matters is her and she becomes your entire world.

Now she is far from me, she is coming back. But this separation is quite killing. I have literally become a machine by focussing on just work and work to not get into a depression. To be loved is a blessing, to be separated from your love is a curse. Its been the toughest few days of my life. Those lovely moments spent together, wotn they come back soon.. Janu, love you a lot baby..

Another thing thats been taking up my mind when my love is far away is my concern for my country. I find this a little strange, because I was not bothered about anything of these till now.

My dear Prime Minister, Mr. Manmohan Singh, has insulted India with the stance taken by his Government with respect to US and Pakistan. While US has the right for pre-emptive strikes, it wont let India take that stance against Pakistan; for Pakistan is US ally in the war against terror. The real irony is that the homebed of terrorism is being used as an ally against terrorism.

And India miscalculated all those sweet words from US diplomats. Mr. Singh realised that all these talks would be the truth, but US has slapped India on its face by not granting access to David headley on the Mumbai attacks case. Why – Pakistan sentiment would be hurt for he would have revealed Pakistan Army link to LeT.

Everyone in the world knows India’s biggest problem is from Pakistan and when US treats India like this, our government says its not a problem at all. We will question them. Grow up, Mr. PM and Mr. Home Minister. Life is not as rosy as the cushioned sofas in your posh offices. Grow up, understand the anger that sweeps every Indians heart when an Indian gets killed. Would Oxford educated people ever understand the sentiment of a hurt citizen. Strange, I wonder.

And the biggest joke that Mr. PM is playing on this country is by making the nuclear bill passed by the parliament. All this to keep his name intact for he was the one who got it discussed and initiated. What more can you ask from a PM who pledges his country men life to some MNC and even wont hold them liable in Indias courts if any of their activity brings any danger to them. And if people die because of some mishap in the nuclear facility, you set a cap on the compensation – what rubbish. Thats the value you give to an Indians life? Is this what you think India is for – sold out to MNC’s. Instead of having legal actions against the MNC’s who construct them, all fault goes to Indias citizen. Is he to blame if he is near the facility or gets affected because of your faulty policies?

I dont know how many of my educated country think of these things. What I feel really painful is I cant bring this out for discussion in any open forum. I cant question Mr. PM on why he feels such things are necessary. Doesnt he feel ashamed to talk to US now. Hasnt it treated India as a substandard ally? Why should India position itself so close to them? We have alienated Iran in the process. India policy is no longer independent. Its a skewed policy aligned with the US, which aligns itself with Pakistan more than India.

And tomorrow, we will have US signing a nuclear pact with Pakistan without any restrictions and that would the stab in the heart required for India. I believe, even them Mr. PM will think I have done the right thing in my life. God save my country!!

long time

ranjtheseeker — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 17:55:14 +0000

Where do I start?? I am back to India and its a very different feeling. I have been living a very luxurious life there in Jakarta and its taking some time to get used to this life. I will manage.

Now, the main purpose of this is to post what my sweety wrote to me -

“aapki khamoshi le leti hai jaan humaari,

aapki kami rol leti hai dhadkan humari,

aapki saath se hi mukamal hai duniya humari,

aap sang nahi to jeene ki aas mar jayegi humari”

kitna pyar karun?

ranjtheseeker — Mon, 06 Apr 2009 13:36:41 +0000

Hmmm, I just logged in to post the words that my love had to say -

‘yeh pyar bhi dil me ajeeb kash jagata hai,

har pal dilbhar ki baaho me guzarna chahta hai,

har lamha unhe pyar karna chahta hai,

na chahte hue bhi kuch duriya rakhna chahta hai’

‘jaan se bhi zyaada pyare ho saman,

saaso se bhi zyaada kareeb ho jaman,

kaise bataye kitna pyar karte hai,

shayad jitna chand apni chandni se ya machli pani se karte hai’

Do you??

ranjtheseeker — Wed, 31 Dec 2008 10:01:20 +0000

Well, I wanted to write this down because this is just going on and on in my heart. I love that person soooooooo much that I cant express in words. Whenever i try to think about that, I am overcome with so much emotions that I dont know what else to say.

All that I pray everyday is to live with her every moment of my life. All this depends on one central thing – approval from her parents. She has given herself to me and I have given myself to her. All that I want now is to hold that hand all my life and live together. To live every moment of my life with that person. I know we are totally different from each other, totally from 2 different cultures and from entirely different backgrounds. But I have loved that person and as I held her hand I prayed to God to let me hold her hand all my life.

I cannot imagine even in the wildest of my dreams to spend such moments with anyone else. I will better not marry if her parents disapprove. I will live alone and away from my family till all pressures settle down. I sincerely wish God does something and brings us together. I know we will have a tough time, but its those times that brings us very close to each other. And she is a young girl who is learning. And I will teach her and she will teach me. And we will learn all things together in life.

Swami, please help me lead my life with her. Help us make the best efforts and proper decisions in life. I only pray to you to show me the right path and help both of us get married. I see YOU in her Swami. She is my life, my God now. Please make her parents understand my dear Lord. Please do something that will bring us close to each other.

I really wonder how far this life and love has brought me. Swami, is this all your play??

My sweety says this

ranjtheseeker — Tue, 30 Dec 2008 07:31:41 +0000

“Phulo se pucha maine ke kahan gayi tumhari muskurahat,

Hawa se pucha maine ki kahan gayi tumhari mehek,

chand se pucha maine ki kahan gayi tumhari chandni,

sab ne kaha woh kisi k aane ki tayyari me masroof hai,

kisi k aane k liye hum sab itne khush hai ki khud ko hi bhul gaye hai!!!”

Sweety’s poems

ranjtheseeker — Mon, 20 Oct 2008 14:38:29 +0000

Some of my sweety’s creations -

“yeh zindagi itni bechain kyoun lag rahi hai,

unke saath kiitni chahat kyoun hai,

har saans me unki hi khushbu kyoun mehak rahi hai,

shayad mere dil me unki dhadkan hai jo mere pyar ki kashish ko aur bhi bada rahi ahi”

***

“raat andheri hai par saath aapke mere pyar ki cahndani hai,

raahen bhi mushkil hai par saath aapke har kadam pe mere rab se mili duayen hai,

Zindagi shayad kabhi tanha lage par saath aapke har pal me mera saaya hai,

Duriyaan bahut lag rahi hai par saath aapke hamesha hum dhadkan ki tarah aapke dil me rehte hai”

Crazy??

ranjtheseeker — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 15:13:34 +0000

I feel I have become crazy about that person…I spend my entire day imagining things with her, talking to her and wishing she was near me. I am starting to see her in my life as part of me rather than separate from me. I hope God brings both of us together in this lifetime. I cant imagine a life without her.

shers galore!!!

ranjtheseeker — Sun, 12 Oct 2008 09:25:43 +0000

I want to post all the shers that she sent me. I dont want to miss these. They serve as the oasis in this desert of life for me.

“Suraj ki roshni me chamak nahi hogi,

raat me chandni bhi roshan nahi hogi,

phulo ki khushboo bhi hume pyari nahi hogi,

yeh zindagi aapke bina shayad zindagi hi nahi hogi”

***

“Dur jaake bhi aap dil ke kareeb rahoge,

dhadkan ki tarah is dil me dhadakte rahoge,

muskaan ki tarah chehre pe humesha khilte rahoge,

zindagi me agar saath nahi to bhi meri har saans me aap hi mehkte rahoge”

***

“aaj ek khwab dekha,

usme khud ko aapke kareeb dekha,

is jahan ko humare pyar ki khushboo se mehakta dekha,

us khuda ko meri har dua ko kubul karte dekha”

***

“Har pal tumhare sang rehne ki kuch kasak uth rahi hai,

saari duniya ki khushiya kam pad jaaye tumhe itni khushiya dene ki chahat ho rahi hai,

duniya ki bheed se tumhe bahut dur le jane ki tamanna ho rahi hai,

ab to har saans sirf tumhare naam kar dene ki aarzoo hai”