Terrific – Thats one word that I can describe about what I experienced today. i was talking to another Gemini woman and boy, this Gemini woman was quite practical and quite frank. Amazing, why i am attracted to Gemini. Probably because of being a Libran.
I told her so many things about myself that I wouldn’t have told everyone. There is something about a gemini that makes me open my heart in front of them. I dont know how I will handle them if I meet them at critical times in my life. There must be a reason for this, I guess. Well, I am not interested in finding a reason!! I havetried finding a reason and have waste lot of time thinking about the other girl.
I seriously wonder why this attraction. Its beyond physical attraction, I guess. I should be able to regulate this. I wonder if I will really be able to?? i wonder if things are going to be smoother or still more turbulent. I wonder if I will ever marry a Gemini to experience this ocean awakening in me, every time I speak to them!!!
It wouldnt have hurt had I not loved/desired her. I am still questioning myself if it was a desire or Love that I felt for her. I never desired her physically. I had already accepted her as she was. I just wanted to lead my life with her. And I started planning my life with her too!! And now she hurts me by ignoring me completely like a speck of dust. It hurts, Oh God, it really hurts.
This makes me wonder – Why do we desire? And why do we Love? From where does this desire/love arise?
These days I am spending quite a bit of time on the NET. I am not sure if it is worth. I dont even talk to my family members, while I spend most of the time talking virtually to all my friends who are online. I think I am addicted to the net. Not sure if it is good though. One more thing, I am hooked to is to watch porn!! F….!!!! I dont wanna do it, but it become a let out for me in this kind of crap life that I lead!!! Hmmm, that makes me wonder if I will ever change, kick of these habits and follow my dreams!!
Dreams – that is one reason that makes me feel alive. is it called hope or dreams??? It makes me live for the next day!!
I keep wondering where to start. The last time I started on this, there was a power disruption. I also keep wondering about a lot of other things. Like, what should I do after getting married. Will the hous I live suffice if I get married; when am I going to get this house renovated; when would i get rid of my old habits; when would I take active part in service…So, many questions…It keeps me wondering why???
Why should I be born to experience all these? Did I desire these experiences in my previous birth?? Is there a previous birth?? Are playing out a big joke in this world??? Why cant we live simple and die simple?? Why should some people always get away with the wrongs they do?
I also wonder why I blog? Why I am this way? Why cant I be normal? Why cant I talk freely to my parents and siblings? Why? Why? It keeps resonating!!!!
